Are You Struggling to Let Go of Control?

And are you worried that you are starting to push people away because of it?

collapsed stonework in thurso town centre

Do you ever find yourself asking why do I always need to be in control?

Do you micromanage everyone and everything around you?

Are you driving the people you love and the people you work with nuts?

Do you get the sense people are talking about you behind your back, and it’s in a not-so-nice, long-suffering kind of way?

The main reason people do this, control their external environment and the actions of the surrounding people, is because they feel that is something they can control, whereas what is going on internally, their own thoughts and feelings, are often way out of their control. And there is an underlying desire to be able to control ‘something’.

The truth about control is that we all have to quit worrying about whether we have it or not, whether we are in control of our lives or not.

The deal is we are not in control of much at all.

Just a week or so ago in Thurso, the next town over from me, in the early hours of the morning, the coping stones of an old building on one of the main thoroughfares collapsed. Dumping a ton of heavy sandstone blocks onto the pavement below.

Is luck best mates with lack of control?

As luck would have it (and that’s all it was – luck), it was that time in the morning, and no-one was around, but it could have equally happened in the middle of a busy shopping day, killing and maiming who knows how many people. And that, my dear readers, is the truth about control and about life.

You can have it all down pat (in your own opinion), you can have the ‘perfect’ life, career, friends, lover etc etc and you can be just walking down the street, minding your own business, patting yourself on the back and thinking about all of this control that you have, and disappear under a random hail of debris. Such is the fickle nature of control. It’s not something you can hang on to, corral, capture, or rely on.

If you can let go of what you perceive to be control, that’s when you can really start to live. In fact, if you booked a discovery call with me and said, ‘I don’t think you’ll be able to hypnotise me because I always have to be in control’ I would say to you, ‘OK, so if you have all of this control, tell me an example of how you would let go of that control.’

What would you say in that instant? Other than a frustrated swear word! Would it be something along the lines of, ‘Well, I can’t let go of control, I just told you, I need to be in control.’

But really, if we can’t let go of control, control itself is the winner. If you can’t let go of control, you are not in control and you do not have control. Control is controlling you.

Control is not the Endgame of Your Life.

People who strive towards having control, who drive themselves and others mad trying to exert that control, have something going on inside that needs to be addressed. There is something in their past that happened that took away their control at a crucial moment, or maybe they were born into a household where there was never any control, or too much control.

Whichever it was, somewhere, sometime, a decision was made on a sub-conscious level, that in future, control was something to be hung onto at all costs. That there was always a danger in not being in control; that not being in control was something to fear. Possibly that not being in control was not allowed.

Did you know that people with control issues are sometimes also afraid of flying? Why? Because they are not in control. Once they are on that plane with the doors and windows battened down, there is not a damn thing they are in control of. And to someone like that, flying is terrifying.

The sooner we can all live in a state of making peace with control, the better. It is a far healthier position to be in if you can enjoy control in the moments you seem to have it, and let’s face it, if you can get flattened by a building at any damn moment, then control is just an illusion we choose to believe in.

Think about letting control ebb and flow. Give it away sometimes, and receive it back happily because people trust you to have control, and know that you won’t abuse it.

Balance is what we should all be striving for, not control. I mean, do you really, hand on your heart, want the responsibility of being in control of everything, all the time? Would you have read this blog post if you did? Doesn’t that get exhausting?

Real ‘control’ is having the confidence, internal peace, and resilience to roll with the punches. To enjoy when you’re winning, and rise to the challenge when you’re struggling. To trust that you weren’t meant to be able to do everything. We are not designed that way. There wouldn’t be so fucking many of us if we were each meant to be capable of everything! We are meant to have strengths and weaknesses, to work together to achieve a common goal. To compliment each other’s faults and virtues.

Juggling a million balls because:

You always need to be in control.
Because it won’t get done properly if you don’t do it.
Because nobody else can do it better than you can (newsflash, there’s always someone else who can).

All of this thinking serves no-one; especially you when you finally have a breakdown because control itself gets sick of you and proves to you that you don’t have it.

So don’t wait for a ton of bricks to hit you in the head. If you have recognised that you have an issue with control but you just can’t figure out how to let go, it could be time to figure out where that idea is coming from. The answer may be really surprising and not at all what you think.

And if you really are worried that you won’t be able to go into hypnosis, we say ‘into’ rather than ‘under’ hypnosis, by the way. You are not ‘under’ some kind of spell that takes away your autonomy in hypnosis. So that is one worry you don’t need to have. But, if you do have that worry, we’ll have that chat and you will be given an audio to listen to before you even have your session, that will just allow your mind to get used to the process, and understand that hypnosis and getting the answers for you, is giving you power, not taking it away.

Want to stop saying ‘why do I always need to be in control?’

Book a discovery call today and tell me all about this fictional control that you have. Because somehow I don’t think it will be making you happy.

Anne-Marie x

About Me

Hello, I’m Anne-Marie. I am a RTT Practitioner, Romance Author, Championship Dog Show Judge.

I have a lot going on! But my primary focus is helping people achieve their personal and professional goals, whatever they may be. If you’re struggling, I am the kind of person you want in your corner.

Click here to book your free discovery call now

Why Do I Always Need To Be In Control?